Well, as you already know, I am extremely butthurt, seeing as you left me outside, alone and it's cold out here. My butt is sore from the pangs of butthurt. Seeing as I am now lonely and depressed because you have left me, I have decided to write a long-ass letter describing my loneliness and buttsore. I have been trying to entertain myself for the past 3 hours watching animes and going on Formspring, but it cannot distract me from the pain I feel inside from having been left outside in the cold without a jacket or blanket. I can't kid myself, everything I do is useless without your presence but you are obviously unaware of this. I am now forced to listen to Anastacia and whiney emo songs because my life amounts to nothing without your company, and you have cold-heartedly left me to freeze to death. Your old voice recordings are not enough to satisfy me, Benjamin, they are just not enough. Imagine having one of your limbs ripped off and taken away from you, without any hope of getting it back, that is how I feel right now. This is how important you are to me. What if the beast comes to slay me? Where will my knight in shining armor be? Selfishly sleeping because he was too good to stay up and protect the damsel in distress. You would never be able to make it as a Disney hero, never. Maybe you could be the knight's mascot, a fat sloth that sleeps 16 hours a day, has terrible hygiene and is too lazy to attack. Yeah, I went there. Because it hurts to be hung up on, and then whilst trying to speak, being cut off because you singed off. Why don't you just tear my heart out, huh? Save me all this suffering that comes when you disappear. I miss you as if part of my soul had been torn out of my body. Does everything I do for you mean nothing? Is all of my care and love worthless? Do I mean nothing? Am I worthless? To you I seem to be, as you leave me behind so easily. I wish I could find someone else to give all of this love to, but for some reason you are irreplaceable. My heart has taken over and my head has given up its protest. Magikarps aren't even enough to express my uselessness without you, they're just not enough. Because, you know, I don't think you've realized it but, tomorrow is Wednesday. And my name might not be Anastacia, but I'm trying my hardest. See these fluids that are flowing out of my corneas? They're also surging through my bursting veins. I try to climb out of this hole I've dug with my screaming regret, but I just keep crashing against the emptiness that is left with your leave. I wonder if you'll ever come back, I hope you will in a future so far that it blurs in the horizon. You are necessary for me to breathe, for me to think, for me to live. I don't even know how I've been able to live so long without having you in my life, it seems nearly impossible now. Couldn't you just put your selfish needs behind and stay up with me? I don't even sleep anymore; I just wait for your return. I wait for the day that you wake up in the middle of the night, realizing that you can't sleep because I'm not there with you. I live for the day you fall asleep while on video call, just so I can watch you sleep. But I guess this doesn't mean anything to you, I guess you don't really care. I just wanted you to know how completely lost I am without you. But, again, it doesn't matter. But I'd just like you to think of this letter before you go to bed, I'd like you to remember this before you leave me. Are you really comfortable leaving me like this, in such a fragile state? Are you really able to sleep knowing how important you are to me? I miss you.
Cold, outside, alone, broken-hearted and completely buttsore,